Of Masks, Capes and Hormones
by Angst Equinox
Summary: An Exercise in Insanity. Tribute to Alena Chan RobRae Foreva'
1. Of Masks and Capes

**_Of Masks and Capes _**

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

_Clug. Clug. Clug. _

_Clug… Clug… Clugggg… _

_Spin Cycle…_

I was back in my leotard and cloak.

So long mask.

_Clug. Clug. Clug. _

Our short lived 'Robinofying' episode had trashed his entire wardrobe. And, of course, cleaning up fell on me.

Well… me and Robin.

_Clug. Clug. Clug. _

"You know, Robin?"

"Yeah?"

"In the Titans, I'm the one closest to your height."

"Hmmmm…" He smiled.

_Clug. Clug. Clug. _

"And the mask fits Perfectly."

"Hmmm… and so you decided I was the coolest and attempted to steal my identity?"

"……"

"Hmmm?"

"It was Beastboy's idea."

_Clug. Clug. Clug. _

"……"

And so long, 'cool'.

"So… what happened with your 'quest'?"

"Yes… changing the subject, trying to feed my ego. You_ must_ be embarrassed."

"……"  
_Clug. Clug. Clug. _

"Who did this to you, Robin?" I say abruptly.

"What?"

"Who taught you people skills, Gave you the power of sarcasm and-"Dramatic pause "Gave you a personality?"

"……"  
_Clug. Clug. Clug. _

"Very funny."  
"Aren't I?"  
"……"  
_Clug. Clug… Clug…… _

"Oh, well, see ya' Raven."

We both bent towards the washing Machine…

_Trip!  
Fall!  
POW! _

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

**_Of Capes _**

Our faces were almost touching.

"Robin?"

"Um… yeah?"

"You are on top of me."

"Yes?"

"We are on the floor."

"Yes?"

"Intertwined in your cape."

"Yes?"

"And you have an erection."

"Um…" His cheeks reddened.

"Remind me to kill you later."

"It isn't my fault!"

"It's your cape we're trapped in."

"Yeah…"

"And it was your wardrobe we were washing."

"Yeah…"

"It's your fault."

"……"

Goodbye new personality. The guy I was sharing personal space with was _hopeless_…

And well toned. No… Teenage hormones won't get the better of me…

"Can't you teleport us out?"

"I need to concentrate to use my powers."

"Um…"

"And I can't exactly concentrate here…"

"Oh…" Hopeless.

"Robin, Roll over."

He complied.

"Again."

If Starfire came in and found us happily rolling over the floor… No, it's too horrible to contemplate.

"Again."

Finally I was on top of him. I relished the position for the smallest fraction of a second.

And get up.

"Um…"

"……"

"……"

"…Robin?"

"Uh, yeah?"

"Hormones are pointless."

"Point taken." He hurried for the exit.

_Teleport. _

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

_I know it was weird; it was supposed to be. _

_To be continued… If I get Reviews. _

…

_R&R! _


	2. Of Hormones

**_Of Hormones _**

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Friend Robin, Tis' a glorious day!"

"Uh… yeah, Star."

"We must have a walk over the diameter of the park!"

"We must?"

"Yes!" She grabbed Robin's… hand… "We must! Do you want to spend this glorious day in your stifling room?"

"Yes!"

She pulled him out of the Tower anyway.

"……"

"……"

"Never saw Star being so… well, aggressive."

"In what, Beastboy?"

"Seducing Robin."

"……"

"BOOYAH! Beat your score!"

"What? Let me have a look!"

"BOOYAH! Take that tofu boy!"

"Mppprrfff… now beat the no. 2 score."

"WHAT?"

"……" Cyborg blasted away on the playstation.

"You think Starfire is out to seduce Robin?"

"Hehehehe… she won't even know the meaning of the word!"

"… but she is out to…"

"Um… you _are_ her best friend and all… why the sudden change?"

"Well, last night she found one of Robin's spare costumes."

"And?"

I shrug.

"She…?"

"Yes."

"Weird."

"……"

"……"

"……"

"Sooo… what did she do?"

"Not as half as much as what I did with your costume."

"…..WHAT?"  
****

**CRASH! **

"Good morning Beastboy." I start walking away.

"Rae! Stop! Talk to me!"

_Teleport. _

…

…

I was joking, of course.

It was Robin's costume I found last night.

…

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

_In case your wondering: This is going to be a quartet of RobRae Oneshots. _


	3. Of Insanity

**_Of Insanity_**

****

Robin had invited me one of his 'social gatherings'. A dinner and ball at Bruce's, eh, 'Humble house'.

I didn't know why, something about Batman, Brother Blood and the end of the world. Nor did I know why he invited me instead of Starfire.

Thus, I was rudely enlightened when he leaned close during supper. And uttered:

"Raven, I love you."

My prompt choking on the broccoli caused him to believe I hadn't heard him.

"……"

He later asked me for a dance.

And so, we twirled on the ballroom, me in the worst dress ever (Thank you Starfire, I'm sure I'll appreciate the pink) and him in a broccoli spotted Tuxedo.

The Band, it seemed, played for kinder gardens in their spare time.

"……"  
It was pity I had to break his heart, he was very good dancer.

The 'song' finally ended and he finally spoke.

"Raven, I have something to say."  
"Great." Deadpan. "I have too."

"Raven." Dramatic pause. "I love you."

"I'm sorry Robin." Dramatic pause. "I can't love you."

His face fell. Plummeted. Got shot down in flames…… Or Beastboy's hot Tofu sauce.

"Why? We're Friends, Right? We have a _bond. _If it's because you've got issues …"

"It's not the issues."  
"Then why?"

"I'm engaged."  
_"What?"  
_"You don't think I wear this ring for nothing, do you?" He stared at my finger, like he saw it for the first time.

"I never saw it before." He seemed stunned. Maybe the shock would buffer the worst of it. "Who are you engaged to? The price of Azarath? Or Scooby Doo?"

"Idiot, Azarath isn't a monarchy." Dramatic pause. "I'm engaged to Slade."  
_"What?" _

"Yes. I am to marry Slade whether I want to or not."

"_Slade?" _

"Yes; it was an arranged marriage."

"What is this? The high school Opera?" He picked up a whisky and took a long drink. "So, who arranged this marriage?"

"My Father."

"I thought you father is an arch demon who goes around destroying planets?"

"Ah…" Too much drama there. "That's… my uncle, Trigger! Trigon's a lawyer who goes around kicking puppies and dropping babies on their heads. Sorry for not being clear for the whole ancestry thing."

Another Drink. "We can still have a one night stand, Right? Then we can sneak of to Azarath and proclaim our true love……"

"I can't."

"Why not."  
"Robin…" My eyes brimmed with Angsty Tears™ "I can't!"

"Why?" He softly says, taking my hand onto his. "Raven, dearest, keeper of my heart; do tell me why."

"Robin. It won't work unless you get a pair of ovaries."

"_What?" _

"Dumbass, I'm lesbian. I can't love you before you've got testosterone poisoning. I've been sleeping with the HIVE Headmistress for the past month."  
_"What?" _

"Sad. But True."

He took yet another drink. "I don't believe you."

I patted his cheek. "Don't worry; with that bottle of liquor in you, you won't remember a thing."  
"So how does Scooby feel about all this?"


	4. Of Superman Boxers

**_Of Superman Boxers_**

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

It's one of those nights, you know? Dark and Stormy

No, that wasn't an adequate description. It poured. It poured like some ancient, forgotten, angry… yes, very angry rain god thundered in the clouds. Draining it's might into one single storm.

"……" Sorry. In a night like this you get an urge to wax poetic.

Where was I? Ah, yes: Dark and stormy night. The lights were out. It was as dark as the devil's soul….

"……." And I was in my Superman Boxers. Someone up there likes me.

Extremely out of character; but even boy wonders need to raid the fridge now and then. It's one of those habits you desperately try not pick up…. But that can be hard when you live with Beastboy.

"Aaahh!" Trip. Fall. Crash.

**Craaaackkk! **

Damm. Starfire's 'vase'. She adored it….. Sauvé, boy wonder. Very Sauvé.

"Star liked that one."

I bit back a girly scream. Under the circumstances, it was a proud feat. Raven's voice can be _very _creepy. Oh, and Dark and Stormy night.

"She told me it was 'ginky'…."

"Eh…. How long were you sitting there?"  
"Enough to admire you're, ah, _fashionable _wear…." I cringe. Oh-oh…. This will do wonders for my 'great leader' image.

"Its pitch dark….. You're imagining things!"

"If that was the case, the world would be ending…… And I don't need light to see."

"Really? That isn't in the database….."

"Well night sight isn't exactly helpful in kicking Jinx's butt."

"Maybe that's because you've never kicked Jinx's butt?" I could _feel _her glare.

"….. Maybe."

The lights come on.

Darkness lifted.

And everyone could now see me in my boxers.

It had other effects too. Least of which seeing Star's ginky vase laying in ruin at my feet….. But what really attracted my attention was Raven's dress. Satin. Perfectly respectful but oh, so decadent….. Well, at least that answers the question whether she sleeps in her uniform or not.

"Satin? Never though you'd go for a silk nightgown….."

"So? Being a Goth doesn't mean I want to be uncomfortable…"

"Yeah….."

"…. So, what's _you're_ excuse?" For the boxer, she meant.

"…..Terra gave it for a Christmas present." I shrug. "One of Beastboy's gags. For some reason I didn't destroy it….. And, you know, Mumbo _had _somehow managed to destroy all my pants….."

She sighed "Mumbo. Cinderblock. Overload. Plasmus. It's been a busy day…… you know; when the three of them work together; what it means….?" I grit my teeth. Of course I did!

"_Slade." _

She sighs yet again. "Yes. He'll be making a big reentrance soon…" She slumped.

"…… Something wrong?"

"My. Body. Aches."

"You handled yourself well. Not once did you get thrown into a brick wall!" She gives me a deadpan look.

"I didn't say my body ached because of _combat._"

"Oh…." I shift uncomfortably. What _did _she mean?

"……"  
"……"

"So… What are you going to do about the vase?"  
"Ah…" Good Question. "I'll think of something." She smiled, bleakly.

"OK…"  
"So… What were you doing?"  
"Reading."

"In the dark?"

"I told you…. I don't need light to see."

"But do you prefer to read in the dark?" I pressed on.

"……Never."

"Uh-Uh?"

"Just… Never, Robin. I don't prefer the dark."

"……"

She sighed yet again. "Slade…"  
"What about him?"

"Something bad is going to happen, Robin… I can _feel _it."

"…… nothing is going to happen."

"Don't be so sure."

"……"  
"……"

"Sooooo… what were you reading?"

"TS Elliot."

She stretches.

Sighs.

Gets up.

And moves for the door.

"……" I decide not to stop her.

_Fins_


End file.
